The Vicar’s Blog: March 2008

The worst week of my life? Probably. At least, so far… Only just back from an exhilarating week in Beirut to launch one of my books in Arabic, make some TV programmes and take a tour of the villages in Southern Lebanon, I returned with a headache that just would not go away.

Did I bring back something left behind by the Israeli military when it bombed Lebanon in July 2006? Was it a virus caught through the air conditioning on the flight home? Possibilities fuelled my imagination. I convinced my GP I needed some antibiotics although they gave no respite. By day six, while sleep evaded me, and despite a cocktail of painkillers, the headache was still very much my unwanted night time companion. I dreaded going to sleep knowing I would wake up an hour later with a throbbing head.

Friday night is never a good time to call the GP help line. Nor to be told to make your way immediately to an A&E, but that is where I was headed having shared my symptoms on the phone with the duty doctor. At the time I was being driven home from central London and a late night TV programme raising money for relief work in Gaza. Why was it taking so long? Why were we seemingly lost in the back streets of South London and not the M4 or M40? Because the cabbie had programmed his Sat Nav to take the shortest (but not the quickest) route back to Virginia Water. I made it to St Peter’s Hospital about 11.00pm just in time for the staff hand over.

By 3:00am I was in the Medical Assessment Ward. I didn’t mind the narrow trolley, or the flimsy curtains or indeed the bright fluorescent lights. I didn’t want to go to sleep anyway. It was now day eight and I was beginning to forget what a night’s sleep felt like. The staff were incredible - caring, patient and professional. I felt safe.

The high point? Late on Saturday night when a delightful chaplaincy assistant invited me to attend the Sunday morning service. Not knowing my occupation, he did not immediately appreciate the appeal of a lie-in since I was now incapable of taking the four Sunday services at Christ Church and the afternoon services at Merlewood and Sunrise.

There were two more sleepless nights before tests eventually revealed a serious but treatable condition. And thankfully it is not stress related so I don’t have to feel guilty as well. Discharged, it was home to my own bed. There is nothing like your own bed is there?

The funniest moment? Reading a piece in the Guardian on medical shorthand, subtitled, ‘doctors notes decoded’. Try these: GPO = ‘Good for parts only’; TFTB = ‘Too fat to breathe’; LOBNH = ‘Lights on by nobody home’; UBI = ‘unexplained beer injury’; and my favourite GOK = ‘God only knows’. And yes, the piece was written by a group of doctors.

Lessons learnt? Did I feel God was with me? Definitely. I met him in some of the staff. I encountered him in some of the patients. I was ministered to by him through some of my visitors. I encountered him in the silences and above all in the Scriptures that came to my mind when I felt so helpless.  “I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous.” (Joshua 1:5-6).

Did I sense God helping me? It is kind of hard to give a pat answer when your head is still throbbing but I know whenever the pain gets hard to bear, he has and will help me. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3).

Can God use pain for good? Yes, most certainly. In my case he has forced me to slow down. It’s taken me three days to write this article. I’m learning to smell the flowers when I take dilly our dog for a walk. Although I’ve had to take a holiday from the karate class, I’m taking more exercise and choosing more carefully about what I eat and how I fill my diary. Every day is special – a gift of God’s provision for which I am thankful. “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14).

What about the future? Only God knows but I am ready. The greatest certainty in life is that we will all one day die. Does that have to be the end? That is up to us. My hope is in Jesus Christ and the eternal life he bestows as a gift on all who trust in him, in all who receive him as their Lord and Saviour.

This Easter, we invite you to one or more of our events and services to find out more about the most influential person in history – Jesus. On Good Friday at 1:30pm we are showing a film by the internationally renowned journalist and writer, Lee Strobel, entitled, “The Case for Christ”. There will be a bread and soup lunch served from 1:00pm also. You are very welcome.

May the Lord bless you and those you love this Easter.

Stephen